Jen's Journal

“I can’t focus on what needs to get done.” -Tessa Violet

For a long time now I’ve had this fog in my head and I don’t know what causes it. I can never focus on anything I’m doing. Nothing I do ever has my full attention. It’s not like I don’t try or care, I do but concentrating on anything is hard for me. I think that’s why I enjoy being alone so much, I don’t have to focus on anything or anyone. I just focus on things I want to do, which usually involves reading and writing. But sometimes there’s this dread that comes over me where I realize that I’m not going to get to read everything I want to. And that really sucks honestly. But alas, that’s not what I want to write about. See what I mean though? I can’t even write about something long enough for me to make a point. I think I just wanna write because I just saw a Stephen King interview and whenever I see and hear him talk I get the greatest urge to write, even if I write complete shit. I understand the buzz King talks about, and I don’t mean being drunk. I write and write, and at some point my fingers catch up to my mind. Something magical happens, something even writers like Stephen King can’t explain. It’s pure joy, pure because I don’t need much to do it. Just a pen and paper and my thoughts. This post doesn’t make much sense anymore, but once again I prove my point that it’s really hard to concentrate on anything, ever.