Jen's Journal

I always think it will be easier the next time I say goodbye to one of my toddlers. I tell myself that they won’t even remember this time in their life. I tell myself that no one can compare to the first kid who made me their work mom.

But the truth is it never gets easier; I find ways to get over it sooner.

I had to say goodbye to someone I’ve known for a year now, which for me is nothing, but it was more than half of his life. My knees felt like jelly as I saw him waving goodbye from across the hall. When I closed the door behind me, I couldn’t even speak, and I could tell my coworker felt the same way.

It reminded me that it is okay to feel sad about the last goodbye. It’s okay to miss kids when they leave. I get through it by spending all my time and energy on the kids who stay. I get through it by writing.

I get through it by telling myself that this is just one step in their lives. When none of that works, I tell myself that I’m lucky to be a part of their lives at all. This part of their life has been untouched by any rule or stereotype, or bias. I’m lucky enough to see kids when their childhood is just beginning.