Jen's Journal

She had missed the last train and there was only one person she wanted to talk to at that moment. Evelin reached into her pockets and pulled out her phone. With one hand clutching the phone to her ear, and the other holding onto a bottle of Jack Daniel’s, Evelin dialed his number. 

“Hello?” Jason picked up on the fourth ring. 

“Hi Jason, it’s good to hear your voice”

“Evelin? Why are you calling at this hour? Is everything okay?”

All he could hear was laughter on the other end of the line, followed by a hiccup. “You’ve been drinking, haven’t you? 

“Mayyybbeee,” Evelin said, another hiccup escaping her lips. 

“Jesus Christ Evelin, what do you need this time?”

“Don’t be mad but I sort of, kind of missed the last train. Can you give me a lift?”

Jason covered the receiver, cursed her out, then said, “I’ll be right there.”

When he got there he saw Evelin walking right in the middle of the train tracks. She was trying to put one foot in front of the other and failing. Jason walked over to her and looked both ways before realizing the last train left a while ago. He slowed down as he reached her, wondering why he came here in the first place.

“Jason! You came!!” She ran over to him and got on her tip-toes to hug him. 

Jason hugged her back reluctantly. How many times has he done this since they broke up? How many more times will he say yes before cutting her out of his life? It’s not that he hasn’t tried but she took the breakup a lot harder than he expected. She was a good person after all, and now because of him, she’s an okay person with a drinking problem. It was guilt alone that kept him tied around her finger. 

“Alright, let’s get you home,” Jason said, holding most of Evelin’s body weight as he dragged her into his car. 

She fell asleep as soon as he started driving. He smiled to himself as he drove the same roads he had hundreds of times. It wasn’t easy breaking up with her but he knew it was necessary. It’s not that he didn’t love her, it’s just that he didn’t love her in the way she wanted to be loved. One of the hardest things he’s ever had to do is admit to himself that he has never loved any girl in that way. 

As he got Evelin into her home and onto her bed he reached in her pocket and unlocked her phone. He went into her contacts and deleted his number. Maybe it wasn’t his decision to make, but she wasn’t going to let him go on her own. He would love to stay friends with her, but he knew she would always hope they get back together one day. He already made her his beard for months, giving her hope would only be cruel. He kissed her forehead and left. That would be the last time he ever saw her, and she would have no memory of it the next day.