Jen's Journal

For a text back. For a callback. For him to admit he was wrong. For you to admit no one has to be correct.

Waiting for the day he decides you are more than just “casual.” Waiting for him to knock at your window at three in the morning when all the bars are closed and no other girl is responding. Waiting in his room with a 99 peaches shot he got you while he plays video games, even though he asked you to be there. And you go, as you always do, as you always will.

Secretly all along you wonder if it will all be worth it in the end. All that waiting, all that yearning. Is it worth it to put aside your hobbies to devote your time to be at his beck and call? Is it worth it to cry yourself to sleep at night because he canceled on you? Is it worth pushing your friends aside for the off chance he might want to hang out with you for the night?

The answer is, you have to figure that out for yourself. There has never been a person, that I know of, who questions if something is worth it and who takes any advice for themselves. We can read about it as much as we want to, and hear about it as much as we can, but it is up to no one but ourselves to take it or leave it. And most of the time, we leave it. We hold onto hope that he’ll change. That he’ll start caring about you. That he’ll put you first. That you won’t have to keep waiting.

But one thing you’ll soon come to realize is, they don’t live their life the way we do. They never wait for anyone. They put their friends and their hobbies first and are happier about it.