Jen's Journal

As my first year of marriage came and went, I thought it would be appropriate to share advice I’ve heard and used this year!

1. Don’t use the words Always and Never in arguments. “You never clear the dishwasher,” or, “You’re always on your computer,” are not helpful and do more harm than good. 
2. “Put-er there partner,” is a great way to ease the tension and shake your partner’s hand in the middle of an argument. 
3. Pause. This one is great when an argument is getting too serious or one of you is getting too emotional (mainly me) or the argument is veering off in a different direction. A pause gives people time to think about the argument so they don’t hurt each other. It’s also way better than walking away. Don’t do that. 
4. Nothing is ever that serious. If you can make fun of yourself and see the humor in everything, you’ll get along great with your partner!
5. Don’t use phrases like, “You make me feel…” because no one can make you feel anything. Your response to any situation is entirely up to you; you can’t blame anyone for your feelings and actions. 
6. If you can’t communicate how you’re feeling, write it down. Sometimes words make more sense on paper than they do out loud. 
7. I cannot express how important it is to spend quality time with your person. 
8. Compliment each other as often as possible. 
9. Don’t keep a tally of who does what. You guys are a team, not a competition. 
10. Love and respect each other.