What She Wrote…

Dear Adam,

I miss you. I’m counting down the days until I get to see you again. Although, I’ve loved writing letters to you like they used to back in the day. Your mom keeps telling people you’re on a work trip, and I guess that’s easier to swallow than the truth. I hope they’re helping you there. Are they treating you well? How’s the food?

 I need you to know that I don’t blame you for what happened. We’ve all done things we regret in the name of love. At least you owned up to it. To answer what you asked in your last letter, I’m okay. Things at work are looking up; I might even get that promotion I’ve been talking about. I got into writing music again. In fact, I wrote a song for you. I can’t wait to play it for you in person. 

I can’t wait to hold your hand again, to kiss your lips over and over, to go to sleep with your arms around me. Just five more days now. You might not even get this before you come back. If you do, know that I’ll be waiting outside for you. 

Love always, 

Sarah

What She Didn’t…

Your mother blames me for what happened. And rightfully so. I’m the one who called the cops on you that day. I wasn’t going to, but the look on your face as you had your hands wrapped around my neck terrified me. I still dream about it sometimes. You wanted to kill me. And maybe you should have. Your going to rehab isn’t going to change your drinking habit. It isn’t going to change how controlling you are. And it isn’t going to change my manic states either. Maybe I’m the one who should be in rehab. I self-sabotage every chance I get. In my mind, I still don’t think I deserve happiness. Maybe that’s why I stay with you. Maybe, that’s why I let you hurt me. All this time away from you has only proven that I don’t want to live without you. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I really am counting down the days until I see you again. At least that part wasn’t a lie.